Note to former self, keeping on familiar terms and the future

It’s easy to appreciate why people want to write notes to former selves; if only to erase silly fears and eliminate those phobias. To have a second chance at that crazy choice. But wouldn’t we eliminate the very courage it took to make such a choice, wouldn’t we put into question that strange and naive confidence it took to do whatever it was you still can’t believe you did….way back when?

I’m not sure I would have jumped off so many cultural cliffs, and lived in that many cities, yet each one carried a lesson, some harder than others, in fact I’m sure I wouldn’t have…but then I wouldn’t be here. And Italy has always acted like a balm. Always.

And yet, every once in a while I wish I’d never left Seattle, all that security, all that I’d known, so many friends, not to mention the contacts…I could never replace those precious people; but I did leave.

My mother was wise, a kind of guide, a muse at times, she rarely looked back, forever embedded in the present. While she was here, she did it well and was ready to pay the bill at the end. I hope I can say the same.

However, I bet she’d agree with Joan Didion’s advice that it’s a pretty good idea to stay on good terms with our former selves, to remind us of our courage and that strange and niave confidence. We’ll need it as we move into the future…..

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